They say that hindsight is 20/20 vision, but a look back at the past year conjures up a blur of mostly unpleasant images. From COVID-19 to economic insecurity to political divisions to natural disasters to social and racial unrest, 2020 has challenged all of us profoundly and led to a crisis in mental health for children, families and adults alike.
Thankfully, we head into 2021 with a vaccine that brings hope of finally marking an end to the devastating effects of the pandemic. We can also hope that, perhaps, our country will grow stronger as we make strides toward a more socially and environmentally just world.
With 2021 just around the corner, we asked the staff at North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center to reflect on their hopes for the year to come. Following are some of their thoughts:
In this time of uncertainty and devastating loss, we are, perhaps, more divided as a nation than at any other time since the Civil War. Sadly, even common sense measures, affirmed by science, such as protecting our loved ones and neighbors by wearing masks and social distancing, have become politicized.
Despite the hopelessness and despair many have been feeling, there is a steady ray of sunshine in the selfless and heroic efforts of health care workers across America, as well as all others who have performed essential work, putting their own health at risk for the good of the many during this perilous time.
Once again, our staff, board and community supporters have demonstrated their commitment to our mission in the face of disaster. Each challenge makes us stronger and so, looking ahead, I have every confidence that we will continue to be a major force for healing, which will be needed more than ever as we move into 2021. —Andrew Malekoff, Executive Director
As we enter this New Year, I reflect on this past one with gratitude and appreciation for the health of my family and loved ones. I also feel heaviness and empathy for those who are unable to say the same for theirs. I move forward with hope for a world where COVID is a thing of the past. — Brooke H.
I really wish resilience and health to all our clients, their families and clinical staff providing services during this stressful time in the pandemic. — Erika P.
My hope for 2021 is that we can return to some of the simple pleasures that we took for granted. We’ve come to realize the value of things like family gatherings, play dates, meeting a friend for coffee and sending our kids off to school. I hope that we can come together again in a way that is safe and comforting, remembering the importance of family, friendship, kindness and health. I’m sending wishes to all for a peaceful New Year and good things in 2021. —VanessaM.
For world peace. That everyone comes to the saving knowledge of the higher power of their choice. That humankind comes to a better understanding of how to care for themselves and others. That my health be restored to what it was before 7/14/20.That 2021 is the best year of my life thus far. — Ruthellen T.
My hope for 2021 is that we all come through this pandemic with a greater understanding and appreciation for our own strengths and resilience. —Lauren M.
My hopes and dreams for 2021 are a world without COVID-19!! — Pascale N.
I want to take a moment to reflex on the fantastic work The Leeds Place outreach staff continue to do during this pandemic. No person is whole until their physical, social and emotional needs are met. I am so grateful for the caring and compassionate work they have exhibited week after week—leaving the comfort of their home where they are authorized to do virtual work via zoom and phone contact, but instead they are out in the Westbury community picking up and delivering food and personal care items to seniors, young mothers and families that have a tremendous need. The staff has still been working collaboratively with the Westbury School District, providing prevention counseling and support to numerous students that are struggling with academic, social and emotional concerns. I salute them and send them my greatest blessings for the New Year as we continue to work together for the betterment of the community that we are committed to serve. —Nellie T.
Rumor has it that there will be a “new normal” coming in 2021. My hope is that this new one will be a lot better than the one that existed even before COVID descended upon us.” —Jolie P.
My hope for the New Year and beyond is that the stigma that is still too often associated with mental illness becomes a thing of the past. With so many people of all ages experiencing depression, anxiety and even suicidal feelings, perhaps our society will finally begin to truly that there is no shame in having mental health challenges and that getting help is a sign of strength, not weakness. —Jenna K.
I am in awe of the strength, resiliency and adaptability that our clients have already demonstrated thus far. Parents have adapted to working from home, and children have mastered online learning with no preparation. I am inspired by people’s fortitude to continue onward and make adjustments to their daily lives. I know it has not been easy! So, with that being said, my hope for the New Year is that our clients recognize the progress that they have made so far and that they continue to find strength within themselves and within the supports they have. We are all in this together, so together we will persevere in 2021! —Kerry E.
New Year’s has always been a time of hope for the many people. It’s a time where people take on New Year’s Resolutions, and it’s almost like a reset button, where many set goals for themselves and their families. For some, it’s a major financial goal, a vacation they want to take, a piece of jewelry they want to get, a cruise they want to go on…
This year feels very different. Obviously, no one could have predicted the collective trauma that the entire world has experienced this year from this global pandemic. No one could have foreseen that our lives would be turned completely upside down and things we once took for granted were now out of our reach. Simple things like spending time with friends and family, visiting people in the hospital, traveling, going to church/temple, visiting parents/grandparents, going to school, working from the office, having indoor parties/get togethers, weddings—all were no longer an option this year. It left people feeling isolated, lonely, confused, terrified and extremely unsettled.
While it’s easy to get lost in all of the fear and focus on how much the year stunk (which it did!), it also gives me a very different perspective going into the New Year. I’m not thinking about my dream vacation, my next big purchase or how much money I want to make. All I truly want is for things to “go back to normal” and to enjoy the simple pleasures of life that I will undoubtedly not be taking for granted this year.
Life is often like that: We don’t truly appreciate what we have until it is gone. When I asked my clients (young kids) what they hoped for this year, they all had the same answer: for corona to be over so things can go back to normal.
I will not be making a long list of hopes, goals and dreams this year. I will simply be hoping and wishing along with my clients that we can eradicate this terrible virus and go back to truly enjoying the simple things in life. — Jennifer P.
The United States is known by many monikers, but among the most popular is the concept of our nation as a “melting pot,” a place where people of many ethnicities, races, cultures and religions make up the fabric of our society.
Although teaching about inclusion, acceptance and anti-racism is important throughout the year, the winter holiday season provides a rich opportunity to highlight the diversity of the many celebrations that happen during December and January. Just a partial list (and you can google those that are unfamiliar): Christmas, Hanukkah, Chinese New Year, Kwanzaa, Bodhi Day, Pancha Ganapati, Winter Solstice, Las Posadas, Three Kings Day, St. Lucia Day and Diwali (which occurs in October or November).
Children are very curious about other cultures, so by discussing the varying traditions surrounding these holidays in a respectful, nonjudgmental and welcoming manner, you are planting the seeds that will help your children develop an appreciation of the melting pot that is our country and our world.
Some suggestions:
Show respect for the differences and traditions in the various celebrations while also highlighting the similarities, such as a focus on family, kindness, and common value of caring for those in need.
Emphasize the spirit of sharing and giving by donating to your local food pantry, buying gifts for a toy drive, volunteering or taking part in another charitable act. These are all great ways to participate in what globally unites us as we celebrate at this time of year.
Take part in some of the rituals surrounding holidays that you don’t typically celebrate by cooking special foods, listening to another culture’s music, reading books about the celebrations, watching videos or doing a craft project. Your community library is a great resource on all these subjects.
When life returns to normal and social distancing is a thing of the past, bring your children to celebrations of other cultures at museums, parades, restaurants, religious institutions and more, and invite people of other cultures to celebrate at your home.
Children learn best from you. Be a role model in acceptance and respect for different cultures and expose them to a variety of people and places.
Wishing everyone a healthy, happy and safe holiday season!
Following is the donor profile from our August 2018 Guidelines newsletter, highlighting our devoted supporter and past board president Rochelle Lipton, who passed away earlier this month.
Nearly four decades ago, Rochelle Lipton went to a presentation and book signing by author Susan Isaacs that was a benefit for North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center. With her usual jovial spirit and engaging storytelling, Isaacs, an honorary Guidance Center board member, wowed the crowd, including Lipton.
“It was a very pleasurable event,” says Lipton. “I met some lovely people, and I decided to find out more about the Guidance Center’s work.”
That was a very fortunate day for the Guidance Center, because Rochelle Lipton has been one of our most dedicated supporters for all these years since. She has served in a wide capacity of roles, most notably as the President of the Board of Directors for two terms, from 2001 to 2003 and again from 2003 to 2005, although she was a board member long before that time.
“Rochelle was always a delight to work with,” says Lucille Kantor, a former Board President and longtime Guidance Center supporter. “She was very serious about her responsibilities as president, and she did a wonderful job. Whenever and wherever the need was, Rochelle was right there, and she still is active today. She’s so bright— and beautiful too!”
Prior to her role as president, one of Lipton’s first projects for the Guidance Center was to co-chair an art show with her friends Judy and Roger Hockstein and Linda Lane. Shortly thereafter, she became a member of the development committee and chaired a dinner dance at the American Folk Art Museum in Manhattan. “It was a beautiful evening,” recalls Lipton. “And of course, it was so important to raise funds to support the Guidance Center’s work.”
A Pivotal Event Lipton had just become President of the Guidance Center’s Board of Directors when the fateful events of September 11, 2001 occurred. “This was a very intense time for the Guidance Center,” she says. “So many children had lost a parent; many people lost spouses, or sons and daughters. We also saw firefighters, police officers— everyone was deeply affected.”
The Guidance Center played a huge role in helping these grieving families and others to begin the road to healing. “We had many bereavement and support groups,” explains Lipton. “And we received many grants from places that had never supported us before, like Robin Hood Foundation, which almost never gave grants outside of New York City.”
During 9/11, Marion Levine was the Executive Director of the Guidance Center, and Lipton has high praises for her leadership. “Marion is the most wonderful person on Earth. Her guidance, assistance and steerage took the Guidance Center to amazing places. She was brilliant, and she is the most caring and kind individual. She grew the agency and started to make it what it is today.”
Lipton’s leadership during the 9/11 crisis also gets high marks from current Executive Director Andrew Malekoff.
“In the immediate aftermath of the attack on September 11, 2001, we mobilized our staff to provide a rapid response wherever we were needed in the New York metropolitan area,” says Malekoff. “During this period of time Guidance Center Board President Rochelle Lipton provided stellar leadership in rallying our Board of Directors to develop and support a number of successful fundraising events in New York City to support our work with surviving family members and others who escaped the attack who were living with post-traumatic stress.”
A Legion of Fans According to Andrea Leeds, who served on the Board of Directors under Lipton’s leadership and is still a VP on our Board today, Lipton’s contributions to the Guidance Center are immeasurable. “Rochelle’s ability to be efficient and multitask was evident as she not only presided over our productive meetings, but she was also capable of always serving a wonderful dinner! Moreover, her dedication and compassion to our mission is obvious as she continues to work hard on committees and support our programs. It is always a privilege to work with Rochelle.”
Another fan of Lipton’s is Jo-Ellen Hazan, a Board VP and also former President of the Board. “Rochelle has always been willing to roll up her sleeves and do whatever was needed to get the job done,” says Hazan. “She had and continues to have creative ideas on how to reach out for support and to advocate for children’s mental health. Her heart is always in the right place for the kids and their families.”
Current Board President Nancy Lane says, “Rochelle has the enviable ability to be creative yet practical. Her thoughtful contributions are invaluable. I am delighted that Rochelle has recently become more engaged in committee work. In addition, Rochelle and [her husband] Hal have always been generous with their financial support. The Guidance Center is most fortunate to have their support.”
Although no longer a board member, Lipton’s dedication to the Guidance Center has never wavered, and she continues to participate actively on committees, at events and wherever she is needed. “I’m most proud of being part of such an incredible organization that does such wonderful work,” says Lipton. “What it does is invaluable to our community.” She adds, “The whole thing is about people helping people. If anybody’s in need, the Guidance Center is always there to lend a hand and help.”
Tis the season of gift-giving, and though many things have changed because of the pandemic, kids are as excited as ever about receiving a bounty of toys!
For parents whose children may have special needs, the good news is that there are many toys that are designed for a variety of developmental and educational profiles—just google “toys for special needs” and you’ll come up with dozens of companies.
As with any year, safety is paramount when choosing toys. The potential dangers are clear: The U.S. Computer Product Safety Commission reports that in 2019, there were an estimated 162,700 toy-related, emergency department-treated injuries and 14 deaths to children younger than 15, with most of the deaths associated with choking on small parts such as small balls, small toy parts and riding toys.
The pandemic has led many people to shop for toys online rather than stores—not a bad thing in and of itself, but it does present a potential problem. “Our concern is that there may be an increase in counterfeit toys out there,” says Joan Lawrence,Senior Vice President, Standards and Regulatory Affairs at The Toy Association, a not-for-profit trade association. “If those sellers skirt the rules on intellectual property [by selling counterfeits], then we worry they may also skirt the rules on safety.”
Her recommendation: Buy toys on a website owned by the toy manufacturer or on a big box retailer website. “Look for verified sellers, whatever marketplace you buy from online,” she says.
While it can be difficult to identify who the verified sellers are, major brands are good bets, because they are likely to abide by safety regulations. Lawrence adds, “Does the seller have its own website? If not, it may be red flag. And if there are typos in the listing or poorly photoshopped images, those are clues that it may have been put together on the fly.”
Another important piece of advice from Lawrence: Parents should always check and follow age guidance on toy packaging. The age-grading isn’t about how smart your child is—it’s safety guidance that’s based on the developmental skills and abilities of children at a given age, and the specific features of a toy.
Following are some more safety tips from The Toy Association:
Adults should always supervise play, especially for younger children.
Avoid toys with small parts when shopping for children under age three and children who mouth toys. Test the size of toys and other objects around the home with a Small Parts Tester.
Check to see that plush (stuffed) toys have age-appropriate features such as embroidered or well-secured eyes and noses for younger children, and seams that are reinforced to withstand an older child’s play.
Dispose of all unnecessary toy packaging and gift-wrap as soon as possible (piles of discarded gift-wrap can conceal sharp objects and the edges of hard plastic packaging that can cut small fingers).
Read instructions carefully. Save directions, warranties and assembly hardware.
Regularly sort through the toy box to discard broken toys.
Get on the floor and play with your kids! Demonstrating the correct way to use a toy or game is the best way to make sure your child understands how to properly and safely enjoy it.
North Shore Child & Family Guidance Center’s therapists are experts on the use of toys and games to enhance social and emotional growth and well-being, says Paul Vitale, Executive Vice President Finance & Operations at The Toy Association and President of the Board of Directors of the Guidance Center. “I’m proud to be part of an organization that always puts the health, happiness and safety of children at the top of the list.”
Sensory Play Ideas for Children with Special Needs
Here are some great ideas for things to do with your child who may be on the autism spectrum, diagnosed with ADHD or OCD or have any sensory processing disorder, from The Genius of Playwebsite:
Get Your Beat On Sounding out words, while critical to language skill development, can sometimes be a challenge− especially if a word has multiple syllables. Turn frustration into fun by putting it to music. Tap/shake an instrument as kids say each syllable. Music can also allow a child struggling to verbalize words a way to express themselves and their understanding.
Surprise Box Think of this like a surprise sensory bin. Exploring an unknown object in a safe space can help decrease your child’s discomfort and fear of new unknowns in the future, while also aiding their processing and communication skill development. Try using uniquely shaped or textured objects!
Puppet Play Puppets can serve as versatile tools for play and learning. Beyond communicating their emotions, puppets can also be used to practice conversational skills and reinforce learned tasks by having kids teach it to the puppet.
Big Art Allowing kids to take movement breaks throughout the day can help them to reset and refocus. Why not turn it into art? Grab some chalk and/or washable markers and let kids use their whole bodies to create larger-than-life designs.
Basket Toss Who says a laundry basket is just for dirty clothes? Use it for game time and help build up a child’s gross motor skills in the process.
Freeze Dance Movement of any kind is great for helping develop a child’s sense of body awareness and balance. Adding a “freeze” element to your dance party can also support kids’ ability to process, organize, and respond to different sounds.
