Every parent has the intentions of raising their child in the best way possible. However, not every parent has the same ideologies for what the best way really is. Parents’ differences in opinions can lead to bickering and competitive tension. This is commonly referred to as “mommy wars”, but for the sake of progressive times, we will refer to it as “mommy/daddy wars.”

Whether you are about to have your first child, or you have had multiple children, every parent can say that they have experienced this in one way or another. Some instances of mommy/daddy wars include the debates between the following:

• Birthing preference
• Breast feeding vs. bottle feeding
• Organic food vs. non-organic food
• The varying ways to approach food allergies
• Vaccinate vs. don’t vaccinate
• Giving a crying child attention vs. no attention
• Stay at home moms vs. working moms
• Helicopter parenting vs. free-range parenting
• Spanking vs. no spanking
• Attachment parenting vs. non-attachment parenting
• Co-sleeping: allow your child/children in your bed vs. not allowing them in your bed

The list could go on and on for forever. However, it is important to note that parenting is an individualized experience in which each parent has both the right and the capacity to make the choices that they feel are best for their family.

Though it can be hard to let others’ comments and opinions roll off your shoulders, it’s an important skill to master as a parent because these stresses and pressures will continue throughout the child’s life.  Facing these difficulties offers parents a great opportunity to model flexibility for their kids, despite the challenge is also presents. 

At the Guidance Center, we are familiar with the challenges of parenting and can help through the Diane Goldberg Maternal Depression Program, which provides rapid response and diagnosis for mothers suffering from maternal post-partum depression and other perinatal mood disorders. Vanessa McMullan, LCSW, Supervisor, The Marks Family Right From The Start 0-3+ Center, stated that, “There are so many external pressures in a mother’s life that come from family, friends, peers, and social media that it creates a negative impact on their mood. Every mom wants to do what they think is right, but when they are told that they are wrong, it causes them to feel disappointed, confused, lost, and even inadequate. These feelings sometimes result in a lack of communication about their stress.”

If you’re in need of support, contact the Guidance Center at 516-626-1971. Our trained clinicians can help you navigate any parenting struggles you may be experiencing, and our Parent Advocates can impart their wisdom for future parenting success.